Tuesday, June 19, 2007

663 days

That's how long I've been a mother. Somewhere along the way, my precious daughter named me Mama. I think it's important to point out that I never wanted to be a "Mama". Of course I wanted to have children, but I wished to be Mommy because it just seemed more...more me. What a joke. I have come to realize that I have absolutely no control. Over anything. When Missy started talking, Mama is what she said. Now, when I hear her calling for me, my heart is so full, that the thought of being anything other than Mama is so sad...that is the core of who I now am. Of course I am still a wife, daughter, sister, friend, etc. But becoming Mama was the biggest catalyst for change in my life. And changed I am.

It's truly amazing to me that God knows your heart's true desires. He put every aspect of my daughter together to form the most perfect child I could ever imagine. I am so enamored with her that it is so hard to even put into words. Her tiny-toothed little smile never fails to cheer up the darkest days. Her belly laughs are like healing music. Her eyes are like perfect swirling oceans. Her hands and feet are so perfectly chubby and baby-like (Oh, how I dread the day they are skinny, big-kid feet). I cannot stop myself from playing with her beautiful strawberry curls, much to her chagrin. My child is kind and loving and beautiful and smart and funny and independent and daring and wild and sweet. If I sound like a love-sick fool, I am.

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